What is authenticity to me?

I have been asking this question a lot recently. Like with many things in life, there are different ways to view and interpret what things mean and how an individual shows up in the world in the name of being authentic. I've had conversations with friends that fuelled a lot of misguided anger towards the subject. There was an assumption that authenticity was about unachievable, reckless and mainly selfish life visions.

I also came across a fantastic marketing strategy video. After agreeing with much of what was said, it was jarring when the marketing pro segues into an authenticity bashing "authenticity is overrated".

I listened as a critical thinker. I am always eager to hear how people form their opinions and their sides of the story. He went on to state that "authentic people cannot be depended upon as they will just decide to show up one day and not do what they've promised".

This statement floored me, and I was shocked by what seemed to be a narrow-minded observation. This expert is usually quite insightful and measured with his judgments; they tend to make well-rounded sense, and this one felt one-dimensional and accusatory.

For me, he had described an individual with no integrity or consistency, not so much a person leaning into their authenticity. I then began to wonder what exactly his definition of authenticity was and what his personal experience had been with someone calling themselves authentic.

I finally found this excellent definition "Defining authenticity."

""It's not, 'say whatever is on your mind,' either. Instead, I define it as 'consistent emotional labor.”"

– Seth Godin

Now, this aligned with my thoughts.

For me, authenticity is:

1. To be true to your values and beliefs.

2. To be authentic does not mean breaking contracts, letting people down or walking all over people.

3. To have the integrity to have boundaries and a realistic expectation of what you are and aren't willing to do.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you are not happy, you have the choice to investigate for yourself why it isn't working, you can then choose to change it and work towards creating a life that will make you more content.

MY JOURNEY WITH AUTHENTICITY

This is the story of a book that changed my life. Few books entirely alter my perception of the world around me. This was one of them. This book introduced the concept of authenticity to me.

The book was given to me by a friend about ten years ago, and at the time, I was finally ready to start my own business but was struggling with my confidence.

This little, relatively unknown book that I read was "How to Make a Living by Being Authentic", by Neil Crofts.

The book rocked my world. The concept made me feel free. I was someone who struggled with fitting in and forced to hide my authentic self for so long in my early life. After I read the book, the world made more sense, and I realised that what I did naturally was a good thing.

The book highlighted that it is our choice to continue to live lives set out for us, or to create a life that fits us as an individual with talents and creativity. We need to be conscious of what the world is, and consciously decide to show up as ourselves, not signing ourselves over to "career conformity".

From my observation, authentic people were forthright and revolutionary in their vision of what they were and what that meant when showing up in the world.

What this meanT to me?

The new realisation for me was that I should stop sweating what other people thought of me and go all chips into who I was. I started to look at what I enjoyed and what I was good at and began creating a plan for myself that meant I could be me.
I had faith in the book and the author's experience, and from my own experience of how working with authentic people made me feel. I knew that this was the way that I wanted to orchestrate my life.

How did it change my life?

I began my business and rode the wave of self-liberation for a while. I was happy to deliver value to my clients, working with consistency and transparency. I was able to create and collaborate on significant projects with lots of like-minded people.
My confidence was at an all-time high; I travelled where I wouldn't usually have gone to and expanded my business in ways that I would never have dreamed of previously. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and learnt how to love every minute.

When it challenged me

Living the authentic life was great for so long. In time, I began to go so much with the flow rather than ask myself if what I was doing was right for me, and I found myself caught up in a quandary that I had created for myself.
As a fixer and problem solver, I naturally got pulled into other people's issues. I began to twist and contort my sense of authenticity and my business orientation, and traded my sense of self for someone else's version of me that benefited them and not me.
I lost myself completely, changing again to a default version imposed on me, not orchestrated by me; this resulted in painful, chaotic and time-consuming breakdowns.

What I learnt

I learnt that authenticity isn't just a switch; it is a matter of maintaining crucial self-recognition and critical thinking.
My journey with authenticity has taught me that it's painful in the long run to ignore our instinct about situations and what our values are.

I have learnt so much from my experience. One huge positive that I can take from that experience is the tools that I utilised and created for myself; these tools I use to regularly help me rise out of the challenges to my authenticity. I have developed these tools into my support structure:

Grow - Personal Growth Training - to help people build their self-awareness for greater life results and positive mental health.
Develop - Business Development Training - to pragmatically develop businesses and projects the you can manage, not that run your life.
Connect - Informal Get Togethers - to connect authentically with people and make genuine partnerships and friendships.

Why is authenticity so important to me?

This awareness is essential for me. I have been able to prioritise suitable activities and positive people in life and set myself free from a world of overthinking.

It has given me the confidence to know that what I must share is valuable, and that my personal experience is real and valid and not something to be suppressed.
It is not just workplace contentment; it is a life choice that will enrich my relationships.
To be authentic is to speak the truth, a challenging and liberating concept to grasp.

In conclusion

Authenticity is an internal, constant state of self-awareness and recognition.

Externally what that means is that you show up with integrity, emotional and practical consistency because you are in tune with your more profound sense of self, and deeply value any given situation to which you commit yourself.

By mastering your authenticity, you become free from crippling, superficial barriers.

What is Authenticity?